Saturday, July 17, 2010

11:40 PM - 7/17/2010

Skulls and bones are what really put Lauryn off. Reading a story about skulls and bones, hanging flesh and rotting hearts through the unbearable intake of thought that includes love and life.

Love and life. The words together, especially with and included, make Lauryn think silently to herself. Yet Lauryn's thoughts are loud, often speaking to herself under her breath. Like a person who looks upon a film poster, the paper glistening from standing still in the sky though the city wind rattles the material and causes it to make thunderous noises. "Love and life," she repeats, "are skull and bones." Rather than a poster or a book, magazine or a journal, the letters are printed in the side of her brain that develops madness and hate. She cannot stop herself. Lauryn does not know why her hate is so thorough and uncalled for. Somewhere, deep inside, perhaps at the end of the throat where it meets the stomach in the chest, her feelings of hate stir in confusion. The signals are sent to her brain, and the mind receives them and cannot comprehend. This makes Lauryn sick. Having a subject to hate without knowing why she hates them. She thinks to herself, "maybe if I liked them, I would be better." And liking the pair of words skull and bones, love and life, come to her as good options but with swiftness they are knocked down and she repeatedly hates them again. It is a silent battle within her, and she cannot stop loving it. Her passion is ardent, and she will never stop and keep her tongue to be so sweet with words. Salty is foul language. Lauryn does not understand herself, and she does not understand her hate. Hate is not a word to be picked a part and said by someone, 'Here, this is what hate is.' Hate comes in forms, people, places, sights and smells. Lauryn is a country, she is self-congratulatory and superior by thinking the universal cliches will not be part of her language. Her religion never stained by following the traditions of others. She will grow to teach her children to hate love and life the way she does, or she will secretly hide this from her spouse and friends. No one will know Lauryn's hate better than Lauryn, and even Lauryn does not know where to begin with it.

Message (Not for the story): Procrastination will never get you anywhere.

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